The Weekly News Review. A Weekly Look at the Headlines over the Last Week. This week’s news has behaved like a shopping trolley with a wonky wheel: technically functional, but constantly veering into chaos, wildlife, religion, baked goods, and time‑travel.

Let’s begin in Inverness, where a parrot is being blamed for hundreds of pounds of damage to cars. This is exactly the kind of story that tells you civilisation is hanging by a thread. Residents report the bird has been flying around since February, which means this parrot has had months to perfect its technique. It’s not just vandalism  it’s a career. Apparently it pecks at wing mirrors and rubber seals, which suggests it’s either extremely bored or running a protection racket. “Nice car you’ve got there,” the parrot presumably squawks. “Shame if something… happened to it.”

Meanwhile, in the world of baked goods, it turns out cake sheds are making bakers £1,000 a week. A cake shed, for the uninitiated, is essentially a shed full of cake  a concept so powerful it could unite the nation. People are apparently driving miles to buy sponge from a wooden hut, which proves that Britain’s true religion is baked goods. Economists are baffled. Bakers are delighted. Sheds everywhere are feeling smug.

Over in Madrid, huge crowds filled the streets for the Pope’s open‑air Mass, demonstrating once again that if you want to draw a crowd, you either need a religious leader or Taylor Swift. Reports say the streets were “thronged,” which is journalist code for “you couldn’t move without accidentally blessing someone.” The Pope delivered his message while surrounded by more people than live in some countries, all of whom were probably thinking, “I hope this doesn’t run long, I forgot sunscreen.”

Back in the UK, a father who ordered a parenting magazine in 2007 finally received it 19 years later. This is not a delivery delay this is a cry for help from the postal system! The magazine arrived long after the children in question had grown up, left home, and possibly started families of their own. The father says he was “surprised,” which is the polite British way of saying, “I briefly questioned the nature of time.” Somewhere, a Royal Mail employee is shrugging and saying, “Well, it got there, didn’t it?”

In international tourism news, Spain’s visitor numbers have hit new highs as tourists avoid the Middle East, proving that global geopolitics can be summarised as: “Let’s all go to Spain.” Beaches are packed, hotels are full, and locals are probably practising deep breathing exercises. Tourism officials are thrilled. Everyone else is wondering how many more people can physically fit on a Costa del Sol sun lounger before it becomes a structural engineering problem.

And finally, vets are advising a ban on over‑the‑counter flea treatments for pets, which is the sort of announcement that makes pet owners panic‑buy enough flea drops to treat every dog in Europe. Vets argue the chemicals are harming wildlife, which is fair, but try explaining that to a cat who has just discovered a flea and is now behaving like it’s auditioning for a horror film. Expect a future in which flea treatment requires a prescription, a consultation, and possibly a small loan.

And that, News Hounds, is your week: A criminal parrot, a booming cake shed economy, a papal mega‑crowd, a magazine that travelled through time, Spain bursting at the seams, and vets declaring war on fleas. Humanity continues to be weird, unpredictable, and occasionally feathered.