That Sporting Week. A look back at some of the last week's top sports stories.It’s been one of those weeks in sport where reality seems to have been written by someone who accidentally spilled coffee on the script and decided to keep the stains for dramatic effect.
Tuchel reportedly argued that the photographers were “too close,” which in football terms means they were practically sitting on his lap. FIFA, after a lengthy debate involving several PowerPoint slides and at least one interpretive dance, agreed to move them back a few feet. This is progress. Next week, he plans to ask them not to breathe audibly during penalties.
Meanwhile, the London Marathon has announced it will be held across two days in 2027, because apparently one day of watching people run in slow motion past landmarks isn’t enough. Organisers say it’s to “enable more people to take part,” which is noble, but also sounds suspiciously like they’re trying to turn the event into a weekend festival. Expect corporate sponsors to appear with slogans like “Run Harder Saturday Cry More Sunday.”
With 1.33 million people entering the ballot, the odds of getting a place are now roughly the same as being struck by lightning while eating a banana on a unicycle. Still, it’s nice to know that Britain’s love of running while pretending it’s fun remains undiminished.
Over at Wimbledon, the sporting gods have decided to throw in a plot twist: Serena Williams, age 44, is making a surprise return to singles after accepting a wildcard. This is the kind of comeback that makes Hollywood jealous. She’s been given the final spot in the women’s draw, presumably because the organisers realised that without her, the tournament risked being about tennis rather than legend.
Fans are thrilled, opponents are terrified, and the rest of us are just hoping she still remembers where she parked her trophy cabinet.
In track and field, Keely Hodgkinson had to pull out of the 400 metres final moments before the race after feeling “a little twinge.” In athlete language, that means “something hurts and I’d rather not explode.” She was tearful, which is understandable nobody likes missing a race, especially when you’ve trained for months to run in circles faster than everyone else.
Her plan to improve her first‑lap speed for the 800 metres world record is temporarily on hold, but given her talent, she’ll probably return next week and casually break the sound barrier.
Less cheerful news from tennis: former Wimbledon champion Marketa Vondrousova has been banned for four years for refusing an anti‑doping test. The ITIA says she denied entry to the doping officer, which is never a good look. In fairness, if someone turned up at your house demanding a urine sample, you might also hesitate. Still, the rules are the rules and tennis, like life, frowns upon slamming the door in the face of bureaucracy.
Finally, football again: Scotland’s World Cup hopes are hanging by a thread after a bruising 3–0 defeat to Brazil. The Scots played bravely, but Brazil treated the match like a samba rehearsal with extra goals. Meanwhile, England managed a 0–0 draw with Ghana, which is technically progress if you define progress as “not losing.”
Fans are optimistic that England will advance, though optimism in English football is a delicate creature that tends to evaporate the moment someone mentions penalties.
So there you have it: Tuchel’s photo‑free zone, marathon madness, Serena’s comeback, Keely’s twinge, Vondrousova’s ban, and Scotland’s heartbreak.
It’s been a week of triumphs, tears, and tactical confusion in other words, sport as usual!
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