That Sporting Week. A review of the last seven days in UK sport. Same Results, Different Excuses 16th January 2026.

Here it is, this week's Sporting review, like a rant from a bloke in a pub who’s had eight pints and a pickled egg.

So strap in, sports fans, because the last seven days have been an absolute belter the kind of week where reality bends, logic collapses, and British sport once again resembles a Punch & Judy show performed inside a tumble dryer.

Let’s start with the FA Cup, where the magic wasn’t so much “alive” as “off its tits on WKD Blue.” Non-league Macclesfield went on to knock out holders Crystal Palace, a result so ridiculous that it feels like it was generated by a malfunctioning Football Manager save. Palace fans stared into the abyss, wondering how a Premier League squad worth the GDP of a small island nation managed to get bodied by a team whose training ground probably doubles as a dog‑walking field. Meanwhile, Macclesfield supporters celebrated as they’d just discovered fire, electricity, and a working VAR system all at once.

Over in the world of Olympic admin, registration opened for the Los Angeles 2028 ticket draw, prompting millions of people to willingly enter a lottery for the privilege of paying £400 to sit behind a pillar and watch someone run past at 27 mph for three seconds. The organisers described demand as “unprecedented,” which is PR‑speak for “we’ve created a website that will definitely crash and ruin everyone’s day.” Still, nothing screams “global unity” like a form that asks for your passport number, blood type, and firstborn child.

Also across the pond, the Philadelphia Eagles continued their proud tradition of bottling it at the worst possible moment, losing 23–19 to the San Francisco 49ers in a game that left fans screaming into their cheesesteaks. The Eagles’ defence collapsed like a wet cardboard shed, while the 49ers strutted around as if they’d just solved American football forever. Pundits called it an “upset,” though anyone who’s watched the Eagles recently knows it was about as surprising as a politician lying on TV.

Back home, Manchester United decided to spice things up by appointing Michael Carrick as caretaker manager until the end of the season, because nothing says “long‑term planning” like handing the keys to a man who still looks like he’s waiting for his GCSE results. United fans reacted with cautious optimism, blind hope, and the usual chorus of “bring back Fergie,” even though the poor bloke is probably trying to enjoy retirement without being dragged into this circus every six months. Carrick promised to “steady the ship,” though given the state of United’s defence, the ship is currently upside‑down, on fire, and being circled by sharks wearing City scarves.

Meanwhile, in the land of actual athletic achievement, Eilish McColgan smashed the women’s European 10km record in Valencia, running so fast she probably overtook several scooters, a bus, and at least one confused tourist. McColgan continues to be the only person in British sport who can be trusted to perform consistently without collapsing, arguing with officials, or forgetting the rules which brings us neatly to…

Sebastian Ofner, who made a spectacular exit from Australian Open qualifying after celebrating victory too early, only to realise he hadn’t actually won. It was the tennis equivalent of doing a lap of honour after scoring an own goal. Ofner pumped his fists, roared to the heavens, and then watched in horror as his opponent calmly pointed out that, no, mate, you still need one more point. Naturally, he went on to lose the match, because the universe has a sense of humour and it is cruel.

So there you have it: a week where Macclesfield turned the FA Cup into a fever dream, Olympic organisers opened a ticket draw that will ruin marriages, the Eagles face‑planted into the turf, Michael Carrick inherited a burning skip, Eilish McColgan ran like she’d stolen something, and Sebastian Ofner forgot how tennis works.

Tune in next week, when presumably someone else will celebrate too early, another Premier League giant will be humiliated by a team sponsored by a local carpet shop, and Manchester United will appoint yet another caretaker manager.

Till then  Sports fans.