That Sporting Week. A review of the last seven days in UK sport. Same Results, Different Excuses 9th January 2026.

Well, what a glorious seven‑day circus it’s been in the world of UK sport, where grown adults are paid millions to fall over, shout at referees, and insist that “the lads showed character” after losing 4–1 at home to a team sponsored by a cryptocurrency that no longer exists.

Let’s start with football, because it always insists on being first, like a toddler demanding attention. The Premier League served up its usual buffet of chaos, VAR meltdowns, and managers looking like they’ve aged 15 years in 90 minutes. Arsenal fans spent the week oscillating between “we’re winning the league” and “Arteta out,” depending on whether their latest shot hit the post or the car park. Chelsea, meanwhile, continued their proud tradition of firing managers with the enthusiasm of someone deleting spam emails. The club described it as a “strategic reset,” which is football‑speak for “we panicked again.”

Manchester United also joined the managerial firing frenzy, booting out their latest boss with all the ceremony of someone chucking out an expired yoghurt. The board called it “part of a long‑term vision,” which is touching given their long‑term vision changes every 14 minutes. Fans celebrated, panicked, and demanded Sir Alex Ferguson take over, who retired before half the squad were born. 

Over in Scottish football, Celtic and Rangers continued their eternal battle to see who can be more furious at referees. Both clubs released statements longer than most university dissertations, each insisting that the officials were either blind, biased, or possibly part of a shadowy cabal run from a shed in Fife.

Meanwhile, rugby union delivered its weekly quota of injuries, with at least three Premiership clubs now fielding squads made up entirely of academy players, retired veterans, and one bloke who was originally hired to sell programmes. Coaches insisted the sport is “in a good place,” which is exactly what you say when it absolutely isn’t.

In cricket, England’s Test side continued their proud tradition of batting collapses so dramatic they should be performed at the National Theatre. Ben Stokes assured fans that the team is “learning every day,” which is true, though unfortunately what they’re learning is how to lose from increasingly promising positions. Pundits spent the week arguing about whether Bazball is genius, madness, or a performance‑art piece that has simply gone too far.

Darts, the only sport where a man can become a national hero while holding three pints and a sausage roll, delivered its usual drama. One player hit a nine‑darter, another stormed off because someone coughed, and the crowd dressed as everything from bananas to traffic cones. The PDC insisted the atmosphere was “electric,” which is accurate if by electric you mean “powered entirely by lager and chanting.”

In boxing, someone called someone else a coward, someone else promised to “end a career,” and two fighters who have been arguing for six years agreed to “finalise talks soon,” which in boxing terms means “see you in 2031.” Promoters continued to insist that the sport is thriving, despite the fact that most fans now watch YouTubers punching each other in Dubai.

Formula 1 also made headlines, despite the season being months away, because F1 never misses an opportunity for drama. One team accused another of “operational inconsistencies,” which is motorsport code for “you’re cheating but we can’t prove it yet.” Meanwhile, drivers posted training videos on Instagram to reassure fans that they are, in fact, still very handsome.

And finally, tennis saw yet another British hopeful knocked out of a tournament in the early rounds, prompting commentators to insist that “there are positives to take.” There are not. The only positive is that we can now stop pretending we understand the scoring system.