You Didn't Lose Your Privacy, You Gift-Wrapped It.



When, people say, “Oh no, my privacy’s been stolen!” Like it was taken in the night by some ninja hacker with a vendetta and a hoodie. But no! Most folks just give it away. Like it’s a fruitcake. “Here you go, Mr. Algorithm. I didn’t want this anyway.”

They post their breakfast, their bowel movements, their breakup texts. Then they act surprised when their smart tv starts recommending therapy. “How did it know?” Well, maybe because you told it. You told everyone. You told the toaster, the fridge, the guy who sells socks on TikTok.

And then they get mad. “I didn’t consent to this!” er yes, you did. You clicked ‘Accept All’ faster than a badger on Red Bull! You gave your privacy away like it was a raffle ticket. “Hope I win a targeted ad!”

I miss the old days. Back then, if someone wanted your secrets, they had to earn them. They had to get drunk with you. They had to listen to your jazz poetry. Now? They just check your Instagram and know you’ve got IBS and a thing for scented candles.

So yeah. Most idiots don’t lose their privacy. They hand it over. Gift-wrapped. With a little note that says, “Please exploit me. I’m very lonely.”
 

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