First Things First, Second Things Never: The Art of Getting Straight to Third.

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That’s the kind of phrase your granddad says right before he robs a bank. “First things first, son. Second things never.” Then he jumps in a Cortina and disappears into legend.

You see, people trying to multitask like their brains got Bluetooth. You have people brushing their teeth, checking their crypto, and arguing about aliens all at the same time. Meanwhile, the first thing they were supposed to do? Still sitting there like, “Hey, remember me?”

And do you notice how second things are always the ones that mess you up? First thing: pay your rent. Second thing: buy a flamethrower on Etsy. Now you’re homeless and banned from the neighbourhood watch!

That’s why I don’t do second things. First thing: tell the truth. Second thing: explain it. Nah. I told you the truth. If you didn’t like it, that’s you're problem. I’m already on my third thing: leaving!"
 

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