Data vs. Crumbs: What Truly Makes a Nerd?

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"Sam is a nerd.
He has a PhD and works in a biochemistry lab.
But that’s not why he’s a nerd.
That just means he’s smart.
You can be smart and still cool.
Einstein had wild hair and probably listened to jazz.
I don’t know. I wasn’t there.

What makes Sam a nerd…
Is that he has over 6,000 empty crisp packets.
And they’re catalogued.
Indexed.
Filed under “Cheese & Onion: 1993–1997, The Golden (wonder) Years.”

I asked him, “Why do you keep them?”
He said, “For science.”
I said, “Science doesn’t want your crumbs, man.”
He said, “They’re not crumbs. They’re data.”
I said, “You need a girlfriend.”
He said, “I have one.”
I said, “Does she know?”


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