The Unrealistic Pursuit of "Balance": Why chasing perfect work-life balance is counterproductive, and what to strive for instead. This Week's Dose of Reality 14th November.

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No doubt you'll have heard about “Work-life balance” This is the modern work equivalent of the Unicorn: everyone insists it exists, nobody has ever seen one, and if you try to catch it, you’ll probably end up in HR training.  

The idea is that you should devote exactly the right amount of time to your job and exactly the right amount of time to your personal life, so that everything is in perfect harmony. This sounds great until you realise that “perfect harmony” requires you to be in two places at once. For example, at 3:00 p.m. you’re supposed to be in a Zoom meeting about quarterly projections, but also at your kid’s school play where he is dressed as a carrot. If you achieve balance, you will somehow be simultaneously nodding at a pie chart and applauding a vegetable.  

Of course, the gurus tell us balance is achievable if we just “prioritise.” This means making a list of everything you need to do, then staring at it until you cry. The list will include things like “finish report,” “buy food shopping,” “exercise,” “call Mum,” “fix leaking roof,” and “achieve inner peace.” You will then prioritise “finish report” because your boss is breathing down your neck, and “achieve inner peace” will be postponed until retirement, or death, whichever comes first.  

The problem is that life does not co-operate with balance. Life is more like a toddler with a kazoo: loud, unpredictable, and prone to spilling juice on your laptop. Work is no better. Work is like a needy pet that keeps jumping on your lap, except instead of purring it sends you emails marked “URGENT” at 5:47 p.m.  

So what happens when you chase balance? You end up stressed about being stressed. You buy a planner the size of a phone book, color code your calendar, download seventeen productivity apps, and still forget to feed the cat. You try yoga, but during downward dog you remember you left the oven on. You meditate, but your inner voice sounds suspiciously like your boss asking if you’ve finished the spreadsheet.  

Here’s the truth: balance is a scam.It’s like those “easy assembly” instructions for IKEA furniture. You think you’re building a serene life, but you end up with three leftover screws and a wobbly chair.  

What you should strive for instead is something more realistic: rhythm. Rhythm means sometimes you’re working like a maniac, sometimes you’re collapsing on the couch, and sometimes you’re at the school play wondering why your child is a carrot. Rhythm accepts that life is messy, lopsided, and occasionally hilarious.  

So forget balance. Balance is for tightrope walkers and people in yogurt commercials. Aim for rhythm. Dance badly through your obligations. Stumble, laugh, improvise. And when someone asks if you’ve achieved work life balance, just say: “No, but I’ve got a pretty good beat.!"  


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