That Sporting weekly review. 17th October 2025

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Right then, strap in and brace yourself for a week in sport so baffling, it’s been declared a UNESCO farce site. Here Jim Corbridge looks back on the sporting week!  equal parts satire, despair, and the kind of commentary that makes your nan say, “Well I never!” while clutching a mug of Bovril.



🎙️ The Week in Sport: A Tragicomedy in Five Acts

Act I: Football — The Beautiful Game, Now with Extra VAR-induced Rage.

Premier League referees have officially been replaced by a random number generator and a bloke named Clive who once saw a penalty given in 1997. VAR, now powered by a toaster and a Ouija board, spent the weekend consulting the spirits of disallowed goals past. Arsenal were awarded a goal after the ball ricocheted off three pigeons, a steward’s shin, and the ghost of Harry Chapman. Meanwhile, Manchester United  are  set to continue their experimental phase of playing without a midfield, relying instead on vibes and a lad from the crowd named Gary.

Act II: Rugby — Where Men Are Men and Concussions Are Collectibles.

The Six Nations warm-ups have begun, which means men the size of garden sheds are running into each other with the grace of a forklift ballet!  England’s new strategy involves shouting “BLOODY HELL” and hoping the opposition forgets the rules. Wales, meanwhile, fielded a team entirely made up of retired miners and one confused tourist from Belgium who thought he was signing up for a cheese-tasting event.

Act III: Tennis — The Sport of Kings, Now with More Grunting Than a Wetherspoons at Closing Time.

Andy Murray, Britain’s favourite grumpy uncle, returned to the court this week to remind everyone that tennis is 40% skill, 60% passive-aggressive muttering. His opponent, a 19-year-old with the reflexes of a caffeinated squirrel, won in straight sets while Murray spent most of the match arguing with his shoelaces. Wimbledon officials are considering replacing umpires with therapists.

Act IV: Golf — The Only Sport Where You Can Be Fat, Rich, and Still Win.

The PGA Tour saw a dramatic finish this week as a man named Chad hit a ball so hard it landed in a different tax bracket. Golf continues to be the only sport where spectators are encouraged to nap mid event and players wear trousers that scream “I own three boats and a problematic Twitter account.” Tiger Woods made a cameo, reminding everyone he’s still legally required to appear in every golf montage until 2047.

Act V: Formula 1 — Fast Cars, Slow Decisions

Lewis Hamilton spent the weekend driving a car that appears to be powered by regret and lukewarm tea. Red Bull’s latest upgrade involves duct taping a jet engine to the back and hoping for the best. The FIA introduced 17 new rules mid-race, including one that states drivers must now complete a Sudoku before overtaking. Max Verstappen won again, mostly because he’s the only one who understands the plot.



🎤 Closing Remarks:

And so ends another week in sport, where the only consistent thing is the overwhelming sense that no one  not the players, not the fans, not even the pigeons — knows what’s going on. Tune in next week when cricket tries to explain the Duckworth-Lewis method using interpretive dance, and the FA Cup is decided by a Bake Off-style technical challenge.


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