Sex Sells: Cleavage, Chrome & Colossal Lies.

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I tell you what I've noticed! Sex is everywhere! It’s like glitter at a drag show once it’s out, it’s never going away. You see it in shampoo ads, burger adverts, and even toothpaste. “Get minty fresh so you can tongue wrestle your way into a regrettable decision.” That’s the pitch!

They sell sex like it’s a Swiss Army knife. “Need confidence? Sex. Feeling sad? Sex. Want to sell a lawnmower? SEX.” I saw an advertising hoarding once (Billboard if you're reading this in America and wondering what the hell an advertising hoarding is and if it's legal!?), just a woman in a bikini holding a Spanner (wrench), my American friends (buds). No lawnmower. No context. Just cleavage and chrome. I thought, “Is she fixing the mower or seducing it?”

And music? Oh, music’s been humping your ears since Elvis shook his pelvis. Now it’s just moaning over trap beats. You don’t even need lyrics anymore. Just heavy breathing and a bassline that sounds like a washing machine having an orgasm.

Books? Forget plot. Just slap “forbidden desire” on the cover and boom bestseller. The characters could be sentient potatoes as long as they’re getting mashed in chapter three.

Even kids’ movies sneak it in. Have you ever noticed how animated animals always have eyelashes and hips? That’s not a rabbit it’s a furry sex symbol with a Pixar budget.

And finally perfume ads. A guy walks into a room, smells like “Obsession Noir,” and suddenly everyone’s naked and speaking French. I tried that cologne once. All I got was a rash and a restraining order. And a lifetime ban from Burger King!

Sex sells, baby. It sells everything except honesty. You want the truth? That’s in aisle nine, behind the expired yoghurt and broken dreams.



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