Review of May 2025.

May 2025 was a month that Britain approached with its usual sense of optimism, which is to say: none. Because May is the month that tricks you. It pretends to be summer, but only in the way a child pretends to be a doctor by wearing a stethoscope and diagnosing the dog with “being a dog.” May promises sunshine, warmth, and outdoor fun and then delivers sideways rain and a pollen count so high it could legally be considered a biological weapon.

The month began, as it always does, with May Morning in Oxford, where thousands of people gather at 6am to listen to a choir sing from the top of Magdalen College tower. This is a tradition dating back hundreds of years, to a time when people didn’t have Netflix and had to make their own entertainment by standing in the cold listening to Latin. It’s basically Britain’s version of Coachella, except instead of celebrities in glitter, you get students in last night’s clothes wondering why they’re awake.

Meanwhile, across the country, festival season officially began. Britain has more festivals than it has functioning train lines, and May is when they all burst into life like a field of musical mushrooms. There was The Great Escape in Brighton, where hundreds of new bands performed in venues ranging from proper music halls to what looked suspiciously like someone’s airing cupboard. Then there was Bearded Theory in Derbyshire, which is a festival for people who enjoy alternative music and facial hair. And of course, Neighbourhood Weekender in Warrington, where thousands of people gathered to drink lager in a field and shout lyrics at bands who were probably too far away to hear them.

May is also when the UK hosts the FA Cup Finals, which is a bit like the Super Bowl, except instead of Beyoncé at halftime you get Gary Lineker explaining the offside rule for the 400th time. Football fans travelled to Wembley in their thousands, wearing scarves, singing songs, and pretending they weren’t worried about how much the train home would cost. The FA Cup is one of Britain’s oldest sporting traditions, dating back to the Victorian era, when footballers wore long shorts, had moustaches, and occasionally died of consumption during half time.

But May wasn’t all fun and games. It was also the month when the weather went completely feral. One week Britain was basking in a heatwave so intense that people started Googling “is it possible to melt internally,” and the next week the heating was back on and the sky was throwing hailstones the size of gobstoppers. Meteorologists described the weather as “changeable,” which is the scientific term for “we have absolutely no idea what’s happening.”

In entertainment news, Usher arrived in the UK for his big 2025 tour, performing at the O2 Arena and reminding everyone that he is still extremely good at singing, dancing, and wearing sunglasses indoors. British fans flocked to see him, partly because they love Usher, and partly because it was something to do that didn’t involve being rained on. Some audience members attempted to dance like Usher, but quickly discovered that their bodies were not designed for that kind of movement and had to be escorted out by St John Ambulance.

May also brought the Spring Bank Holiday, which is a special day when the entire country collectively decides to sit in traffic. Families across Britain packed their cars with snacks, optimism, and a sense of dread, and set off for the seaside, where they discovered that everyone else had had the same idea. Beaches were filled with people wearing coats, eating chips, and pretending they were having a lovely time despite the wind trying to remove their faces.

Culturally, May was a month of heritage events, including castle tours, food festivals, and historical reenactments. Britain loves a reenactment. There’s nothing we enjoy more than watching grown adults dress up as medieval peasants and pretend to churn butter. It’s educational, apparently, although the main thing it teaches children is that history was mostly mud and shouting.

And of course, May 2025 featured the usual British pastime: complaining about everything. People complained about the weather, the trains, the price of ice cream, the lack of bins, the presence of bins, the noise from festivals, the lack of festivals, and the fact that May has two bank holidays but somehow still feels exhausting. If complaining were an Olympic sport, Britain would win gold, silver, and bronze, and then complain about the podium being too slippery.

By the end of the month, Britain was sunburned, rain‑soaked, culturally enriched, financially drained, and emotionally confused which is exactly how May is supposed to leave you.

In conclusion, May 2025 was a month full of festivals, football, unpredictable weather, and the kind of national behaviour that makes you wonder how Britain has survived this long. It was chaotic, joyful, irritating, and very slightly damp.

In other words: it was May.