Revenge: The Dumbest Genius Idea Ever.

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I've noticed how revenge is like the dumbest genius idea ever!  We all think we’re too smart to fall for? Like, “Oh no, I’m evolved, I meditate now, I drink goat milk, I let things go.” Yes? Until somebody cuts you off in traffic and flips you the finger like you’re the problem. Suddenly you’re Jason Bourne with a vendetta, tailing a bloke through three  counties just to make him miss his turn off! That’s not forgiveness, that’s GPS based vengeance.


And it’s never the big stuff? It’s not like someone stole your house. It’s the petty crap. Your colleague  at work steals your lunch? Boom next week you’re microwaving fish just to smoke out their cubicle. That’s revenge. That’s culinary warfare. You’re not Gandhi, you’re Gordon Ramsay with a grudge.


And then there is relationships! Oh my God. You break up and suddenly it’s a Cold War. You’re posting gym selfies like you’re auditioning for Rocky 12: Emotional Damage. She’s out there dating a guy who looks like you if you were successful and moisturised. It’s psychological warfare with Instagram filters.


But here’s the  thing  revenge never works. You think you’re going to feel better? You don’t. You just end up looking like a lunatic with a spreadsheet of grudges. You’re out here like Liam Neeson in Taken, but instead of rescuing your daughter, you’re just trying to get your neighbour to stop parking like a psychopath.


So yes, revenge? It’s dumb. It’s brilliant. It’s human. And if you say you’ve never fantasised about it, you’re either lying or you’re a monk. And even monks probably have a hit list. It’s just written in Sanskrit and buried under a bonsai tree.



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